Monday, July 20, 2009
I thought about blogging about this before, and my experience with this topic, but I kept putting it off. Then I was reminded of it again when I saw a friends quiz on Facebook, of all places. I to, had struggled with putting God first on my list. When confronted with numbering God on a quiz before my husband and children on a numbered list. I just would finish the quiz....I just couldn't do it.... More importantly not only on this quiz....but more importantly in my life! I always felt as if this question was not fair...I love my husband and children as much as I thought I loved God! When I was all alone in CCU....basically dying alone, the night before my second surgery, I have never felt so alone. David is always with me. As you know in the CCU your husband can not stay with you. I thought this was the cruelest thing ever! I was going through the toughest day of my life and I was all alone....It took me awhile to get over that fact...then one day when I was having a really tough day at home recovering I realized something so awesome. I was not alone!! God was there with me through it all, as a cried out to him in the night...... For the first time I realized that God is first, he was there at a time when even David could not be there for me, or anyone else. This is why God should be first always, even though we love others in our lives as much as we think that can even be possible. I hope that if you haven't realized this yet, that you do before you are put in such a situation such as mine. I never thought I would be able to fully believe this to be true....Because of my immense love for David and the girls....but it feels great!! God is first in my life!!